Mel White, Author and LGBTQ Activist
March 30, 2025 Great News Update!
Mel is walking again, and even doing a bit of dancing!
Take a look at the video!
Mel’s health began to seriously deteriorate several years ago,
and he was diagnosed with various ailments
from which he seems to be healing and doing much better.
After years confined to walkers and wheelchairs,
he’s again up and about on his own!
Remembering Gary
Dear Friends, I want to thank you
for the outpouring of love and support
you have shown me since we lost Gary.
Gary Nixon, my husband for forty years
and Soulforce partner and co-founder
had his funeral and life celebration service
on November 14th, 2024, at
All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, California,
The following day, friends and family and Soulforce partners
celebrated Gary’s Fiesta Celebration Brunch
at our home in Palm Desert, California
with Mexican food,
margaritas, and a live Mariachi band.
VIDEOS
Watch
Gary’s Memorial Service
at the All Saints Church in Pasadena, California
on November 14, 2024.
Watch
Gary’s Celebration of Life & Reception.
at the All Saints Church in Pasadena, California
on November 14, 2024.
I’d like to ask you to make a gift to Soulforce
in Gary’s memory,
as Soulforce has been such a big part of our lives.
I spoke about that, and our life together,
at his eulogy at his memorial service:
If you read Stranger at the Gate,
you know I spent thirty years trying to
shame my sexual orientation.
Our All Saints rector, George Regas,
was the first to say
“It can’t be changed, so quit trying,”
and we did.
I spotted Gary at a Requiem Mass at All Saints.
Gary was a blond, blue-eyed
baritone in the Coventry Choir.
We met at All Saints, courted at All Saints,
and when same-sex marriage became legal
we rushed to All Saints and were married.
The first gay couple to be married legally
in this wonderful church.
Let me tell you something about
the man I fell in love with.
Gary and I were both victims of the
anti-gay policies of the Christian churches,
and after we married,
we vowed to do something to end those policies together.
We created Soulforce to train volunteers
in the principles of relentless nonviolent resistance.
Soulforce has been working
to help end religion-based bigotry
for the past 25 years.
We have organized, trained,
and marched across the states
and even at the Vatican.
Last year, Soulforce International worked in 13 countries,
while our free online Spirit resource library,
in 7 different languages,
was recently downloaded by individuals
in 38 countries and 42 states.
That was the professional Gary.
He did all the work. I got all the glory.
Now about the personal Gary.
He was timid. He didn’t like to speak up,
even in a small group,
but when he did it was almost always memorable.
He was tough, strong, loving, and kind.
He never complained and he showed his love
through action 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
He could keep a secret.
The cards and letters I’ve been getting
express gratitude from people all across
the country that I’ve never met,
that he was sending letters and postcards to,
and making phone calls.
One of my favorite memories is of
Gary with a little girl named Elizabeth.
Her parents brought her to every Soulforce action,
and she fell in love with Gary
right from the beginning.
She had Lou Gehrig’s disease and even when
she spotted Gary with hardly any use of her arms or legs,
she would manage to climb out from her stroller
into Gary’s arms, saying, “Gary, Gary, Gary!”
I want to thank my family. From the day
I met Gary they included him in every event.
And then I want to thank his friends and family,
who knew him as a quiet soul
who refused every opportunity to be upfront.
What Gary’s done is changing minds and hearts
around the world.
More importantly, Gary, I want you to know
that I found you here at All Saints
and for almost 40 years your love
has made all the difference.
Now you’ve come home, Gary,
and your body will remain here
in the place you love the most.
On August 12, 2024
your spirit joined all the other saints.
At All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena
you keep bringing hope and healing to the world.
I miss you Hon.
And I’ll see you when I’m sitting
in the front row at another majestic Requiem.
You will not be singing baritone in the choir.
You’re one of those saints now.
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine:
Eternal rest give unto him, O Lord,
and let Perpetual Light Shine Upon Him.
Amen.
Donations
Download Clobber The Passages Ebook (Free)
Mel’s latest book (2023):
Storming The Gate!
Storming the Gate picks up the story
thirty years after the publication of
Stranger at the Gate (1993).
Mel and his husband, Gary Nixon,
founded Soulforce and recruited an
army of volunteers to help end the lie.
Their nonviolent protests
made headlines across the nation.
These are the heroic and sometimes hilarious stories
of Mel, Gary, and their volunteers
being harassed, arrested, tried, and jailed
for doing battle with the lie and with the
Catholic, Protestant, and Evangelical liars
who know the truth but refused to tell it.
It’s available now in Kindle or Paperback.